Funny Halloween Jokes For Friends, Kids, Parents, Buddies & Loved Ones

One of the funniest festival celebrations is coming up next just after 2 days in the United States Of America and it’s called Halloween. You should not miss this great opportunity to have fun with your friends and family and send them some Funny Halloween Jokes. If you are parents then you can get these Jokes For Kids and Children from our site. Halloween is observed by Western Christians and many non-Christians around the world on 31st of October. Pumpkin, candy, and costumes are the perfect ingredients for this festival. Halloween is a very popular festival but its celebration is completely changed years by years since it’s started.

Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes 2017

Funny Halloween Jokes

Many people celebrate this festival but most of then still not aware of the history of the Halloween or they don’t know why they celebrated it. But still, they enjoy it a lot because it’s a creativity showing and fun-loving festival. Funny Halloween Jokes can surely extra spices in your fun dish.

First Halloween was celebrated near about 2000 years ago and since then people are adding the extra level of twist to this festival.  On the First day of Allhallowtide, In villages, people dress up their animals by panting their body with spooky colours.

Why dïdn’t thé skéléton go to thé Hàllowéén pàrty? Bécàusé hé hàd no-body to go wïth.

Whàt do ghosts sérvé for déssért? Ï scréàm!

Funny Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes Funny

Q – Whàt hàppénéd to thé vàmpïré who trïéd to gàïn wéïght by éàtïng moré?
À – Ït dïd not work… ït wàs àll ïn véïn.

Ghost on the left: “Disturbing the peace. You?”

Ghost#2: “Possession.

  • “Oh, hi, honey! You’re home early…” And the panic mushrooms. #Oops?

Halloween Jokes

Q – Why wouldn’t thé skéléton cross thé roàd?
À – Bécàusé hé dïdn’t hàvé àny guts.

Q – Whàt àré à spook’s two fàvorïté rïdés àt thé fàïr?
À – Thé rollér ghostér ànd thé mérry ghoul round.

  • A ghost man: “I hope this ghost costume gets me lots of bags of candy.” A fat man: “I hope this Karzai costume gets me lots of bags of cash!”

Whàt rulé doés à polïté lïttlé ghost àlwàys obéy?
Don’t spook untïl spookén to.

  • Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.

Why dïdn’t thé skéléton go to thé Hàllowéén pàrty? Bécàusé hé hàd no-body to go wïth.

Ï hàvé 24 légs, 12 àrms ànd 6 héàds, whàt àm Ï? À lïàr!

  • Mother: “No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween!”

Whàt ïs à vàmpïré’s fàvorïté flàvor of ïcé créàm?

  • “Halloween is by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.”

What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us

Whàt do ghosts sérvé for déssért? Ï scréàm!

Pumpkin to the other: “I’m not sure what all this Jack O’Lantern stuff is about, but I’ll be sure to have an open mind…”

  • What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car? — He puts on his sheet belt.
  • Why did the witches cancel their baseball game? — They couldn’t find their bats.

On Halloween, parents send their kids out looking like me. [And, if so, no wonder he never got any respect!] ~ Rodney Dangerfield

  • What do monsters turn on in the summertime? — The scare conditioner.
  • Why is it safe to tell a mummy your secret? — It’ll keep it under wraps.

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. ~ Steve Almond

  • Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? — It had no guts.
  • What is a scarecrow’s favourite fruit? — STRAW-berries.

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want–it’s like an excuse for Halloween everyday. ~ Gwen Stefani

  • The little boy: “Sorry. Bigfoot or not, only one piece of candy per trick-or-treater.”

Vampire the nurse: “Um, Hi. I’m here to suck your blood. But first I need you to fill out a short medical history if you don’t mind.”

An old man yelling over the mess, “Someone’s going to take the blame for this.” Conversely, an indicating voice came in saying, “I want a lawyer.”

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. ~ River Phoenix

Halloween is my favourite celebrations and it’s loved by everyone including kids. So, keeping this thing in mind we are are sharing the Cute Halloween Jokes For Kids, Children, Preschooler, and toddlers.

Check: Happy Halloween Coloring Pages

Halloween Jokes For Kids

Children Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes For Kids

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. ~ Lindsay Lohan

  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? — Because he had no BODY to go with.
  • What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
  • Why don’t ghosts like rain? — It dampens their spirits.

Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.

  • What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn? — That costume is a-MAZE-ing.
  • What candy do you eat on the playground? — Recess pieces.
  • Why do witches wear name tags? — So they will know which which is which.
  • Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? — He was already stuffed.
  • What kind of monster loves to disco? — The boogieman.
  • Why do people like vampires so much? — Because they are FANGtastic.
  • What does a cool witch ride instead of a motorcycle? — A Brrrrrr – oomstick.
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? — Tickle its funny bone.
  • Q. Why don’t mummies take vacations?
    A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
  • Q. Why didn’t the ghost go boo?
    A. Because it had no guts.
  • Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
    A. Either a flying bandage or a gift-wrapped bat!
  • Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
    A. Because you can see right through him.
  • Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
    A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.
  • Q. What is a hotdog’s favourite phrase?
    A. Happy HalloWEINIE!
  • Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
    A. Ghoul-aid!
  • Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
    A. Broom mates.
  • Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
    A. To the living room!
  • Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
    A. The alpha-BAT.

Bad Halloween Jokes

  • Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
    A. Because he had no guts.
  • Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
    A. “Ahh BOO!”
  • Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
    A. “Spook when you’re spooken to.”
  • Q. Who won the zombie war?
    A. Nobody, it was dead even.
  • Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
    A. Tickle its funnybone!

Halloween Jokes Collection

  • Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
    A. “Everything I eat goes right through me!”
  • Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
    A. Twick or tweet!
  • Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
    A. I scream.
  • Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
    A. His GHOUL friend.
  • Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
    A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
  • Q. What is a witch’s favourite food?
    A. Goulash.

Happy Halloween Jokes

  • Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
    A. Lots of blood tests!
  • Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
    A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!
  • Q. Where is the zombie’s favourite room in the house?
    A. The living room.
  • Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
    A. In a BOOster seat!
  • Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
    A. At day-SCARE!

Good Halloween Jokes

  • Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
    A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
  • Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
    A. Lazybones!
  • Q. What did the jack-o’-lantern says to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
    A. “Let’s get glowing.”
  • Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
    A. “Do you believe in people?!”

Good Halloween Jokes

  • Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
    A: Day-scare
  • Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
    A: Bat-Minton.
  • Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
    A: Because they have no organs.
  • Q: How can you make a witch itch?
    A: Take out the W.

Good Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

On Halloween, children go door to door and ask for the candy, it’s a ritual which is still followed in many parts of the USA. The largest audience of this festival is in the USA and Canada. In these two countries, people eagerly wait for this festival and celebrate it with great zeal and enthusiasm. Let’s enjoy some Good Halloween Kock Knock Jokes.

Best Halloween Jokes

  • Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
    A: Nobody.
  • Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
    A: Bone Appetit.
  • Q: What is a vampire’s favourite type of dog?
    A: A bloodhound.

Cute Halloween Jokes

  • Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
    A: Ghoul-ie
  • Q: What was the ghost’s favourite party game?
    A: Hide-and-go-shriek
  • Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
    A: The living room.

Halloween 2017 Jokes

  • Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
    A: Count Duckula
  • Q: What is a vampire’s favourite candy?
    A: Suckers
  • Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
    A: Twick or Tweet
  • Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
    A: To stop his coffin.

Halloween Jokes For Facebook

  • Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
    A: Frostbite.
  • Q: How do monsters tell their future?
    A: They read their horror-scope.
  • Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
    A: He had nobody to dance with.
  • Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
    A: A boo-tie.

Funniest Halloween Jokes

  • Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
    A: The Vampire State Building.
  • Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
    A: Roller ghosts.
  • Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
    A: Dark with an extra scream.
  • Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
    A: The Sandwich.
  • Q: What is a ghost’s favourite dessert?
    A: Ice-Scream.

Silly Halloween Jokes

  • Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
    A: You never know which witch is which!
  • Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
    A: The Dead Sea.
  • Q: Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad?
    A: Because they’re transparent.
  • Q: Why don’t people like vampires?
    A: He has bat tempers.

Children Halloween Jokes

  • Q: Why did Ichabod Crane go into business?
    A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
  • Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
    A: It’s a pain in the neck.
  • Q: What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
    A: Spiritual music.
  • Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
    A: He has no guts.
  • Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
    A: His ghoul friend
  • Q: What was the ghosts favourite book?
    A: Romeo and Ghouliet
  • Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
    A: He had no guts
  • Q: What do you call witches that live together?
    A: Broom mates.

Halloween Jokes Funny

  • Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
    A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.
  • Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
    A: They wake up.
  • Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
    A: Boonanas
  • Q. How does a witch tell the time?
    A. With her witch-watch.
  • Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
    A: Ghoul-aid
  • Q: What is a monster’s favourite snack food?
    A: Ghoul scout cookies
  • Q: What kind of roads do spirits haunt?
    A: Dead Ends
  • Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
    A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
  • Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
    A: In the casketeria.
  • Q: Where do most monsters live?
    A: North and South Scare-olina
  • Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
    A: Sherlock Moans
  • Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
    A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.
  • Q: What do they teach in witching school?
    A: Spelling.
  • Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
    A: Trom-Bone
  • Q: What song do vampires hate?
    A: “You Are My Sunshine”
  • Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
    A: The boogieman
  • Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
    A: Spare ribs
  • Q: What’s ghosts favourite fruit?
    A: Booberries.
  • Q: What’s a ghost favourite dessert?
    A: Boo-berry pie.
  • Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a campfire?
    A: A toasty ghosty.
  • Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
    A: Mas-scare-a
  • Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
    A: In the moaning.
  • Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
    A: Spookgetti
  • Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
    A: Because he was always goblin’.
  • Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
    A: Whipped scream.
  • Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
    A: Ghostcards
  • Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
    A: The Bat.
  • Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
    A: The night-mayor.
  • Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called?
    A: An itchy witchy.
  • Q: What was the mummy musician’s favourite note?
    A: The dead sea
  • Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
    A: At the ghost-ery store
  • Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle?
    A: The wicked wick of the north.
  • Q: Why did the travelling witch throw up?
    A: She was broom sick.
  • Q: Why did Ichabod Crane stop on the road?
    A: The street sign said stop ahead.
  • Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
    A: The ghost office.
  • Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
    A: With a pumpkin patch
  • Q: When do skeletons laugh?
    A: When something tickles their funny bones.
  • Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
    A: Because he didn’t have a hunting license.
  • Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
    A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.
  • Q: Where do ghosts like to water ski?
    A: Lake Erie
  • Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
    A: Mali-boo.
  • Q: Why did the vampire-like baseball?
    A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.
  • Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
    A: Boo-logna sandwiches
  • Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
    A: A lazy bone.
  • Q: What do witches put in their hair?
    A: Scare spray
  • Q: What kind of mistakes do spirits make?
    A: Boo-boos
  • Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
    A: Because he was great at drawing blood.
  • Q: What city do most werewolves live?
    A: Hollywood, California
  • Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
    A: Because vacuum cleaners have short cords.
  • Q: Which type of tree do ghost-like most?
    A: Ceme-trees.

Happy Halloween Jokes

  • What is the best way to speak to a monster? — From a long distance away!
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? — Day-scare centres.
  • What do birds say on Halloween? — Twick o Tweet.
  • What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? — Spelling.
  • What kind of roads do ghosts haunt? — Dead ends.
  • How do you make a witch itch? — Take away the W

We hope that you liked this Funny Halloween Jokes collection. Please share our this page with your friends and buddies via social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Snacpchat, Instagram, Hike, Google+, and Pinterest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Home | About Us | Contact Us © 2017 Happy Halloween Images. All Rights Reserved. Frontier Theme